[Camelia Paduraru]

Hi, Adriana!

Thank you for pointing that out, I thought it was great for a pattern interrupt too and yes – very good question whether playing placator will attach the ‘weak’ person label. I think it can, if generalised in the person’s behaviour. What I picked up in the video was placator going into distractor by the end of it, perhaps chaining it further to leveller could be even more effective.

However, the understanding of bullying as a power play and the importance of not getting upset (also essential in dealing with VL3’s) were great take aways from this. And you mentioning focus on self sparked another idea to add to Gina’s question about young people going back to the teachers’ preferred teaching styles.

I grew up in Romania, where the school system was, and still is… not enjoyable, nor effective, to say the least. Focus on self helped a lot. At some point I started to figure out what really interested me in terms of learning, therefore I focused on that, I searched for information on my own and I took private classes with teachers I could actually learn from, paying less and less attention to what didn’t work in school. At 16 I learned a little bit about goal setting, so having goals for myself and focusing on them helped me get out, at least mentally, from the traditional school approach, pumped me up with motivation to learn and acquire skills I thought were going to be useful in life. I cannot not contemplate what a difference would have made to also know NLP at the time. Imagine that now we can equip people with these tools easily and effectively.

Love this conversation and the topic.

[Camelia Paduraru]

Gina, Marc, and Cherry, thank you all for sharing your experiences, they are very inspiring.
One of the things I love the most about NLP is that it is so versatile that it can be adapted to any type of audience and challenges they may have.
About your question, Gina… ‘what happens when young people attending our trainings go back into the classroom with the routines and teacher preferred teaching styles?’ It’s a challenging one but I think we can parallel it to what happens when an adult attending our trainings goes back in their environment (work, family) where people stay the same and they run the risk of falling back on the Effect side of the C>E equation.
Some of the ways in which I deal with this, either in coaching or trainings, are:
– teach them how to set boundaries;
– make sure they have at least an internal check in their Frame of Reference Metaprogram, so they can acknowledge and celebrate their achievements even if people outside may not confirm them or doubt them;
– future pace them to adopting a constructive attitude towards teaching and learning styles that might not be effective; make them feel good for knowing some ‘secrets’ (Learning State, Learning Strategy, Anxiety Model, TLT) that will support them even when they encounter adversity (or especially when that happens);
– encourage them to create a growth oriented environment in their world – in this case, maybe supportive parents, or classmates they can study with (especially if they’re team players), or other young people with whom they might attend to their hobbies.

And as I saw bullying mentioned here, I was wondering if you guys know this video:

I found it extremely useful in teaching people how to effectively deal with bullying.

[Camelia Paduraru]

Hi, Gina!

I can’t see any link, but your question drew my attention. I had a few teenagers in my Prac/ Master Prac trainings and they absolutely loved it. It was amazing to watch because some of them were the diligent type in school, so they were used to staying focused for such a long time, so they performed exquisitely, they even conducted a very successful Breakthrough session with adults that had career and family issues, obviously operating at different Values Levels. I also worked with a teenager that wasn’t into school at all and yet he loved NLP. Their feedback was the same: ‘It’s the first time I’m learning something that’s actually useful. If only they taught this in school’.

The youngest delegate I had in a recent Prac was 11. She asked very clever questions, she was very into it, very quick and precise in doing the exercises, everybody said they had a lot to learn from her.

In coaching is the same, they love it because it’s quick and easy and it gives them extra tools to play with. The only thing is, in my experience, is to find out what motivates them, build a strong why for them to do it, and then everything flows. Which is pretty much the same you’d approach it with adults. ?? If they don’t want to be coached or attend trainings it’s because they don’t see what’s in it for them. Is usually somebody else’s desire or intention for them.

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