OH Deb, this is excellent! I don’t mean to say that your heartache experience was excellent as how it felt in the moment – i am sure it was terrible. However, what you gained because of it, is invaluable.
Please remember something important. Everyone is afraid of failing, or unfulfilled expectations, or of being disappointed, or hurt, or laughed at, or becoming a failure. BUT THESE ARE ALL MADE UP! They are all FUTURE possibilities none of which happeNED!
Just because they have happened in the past it does not mean they will happen again in the future. but your mind constructs it this way, and then it is afraid to try again – and i talked about this in the first Zoom Webinar – i hope you have downloaded it! It is a protective neurological function of the brain.
Please get that what i am writing further is not meant as a criticism and i applaud your courage to put your message out. I am absolutely convinced that many of our MT participants have the same issues, but are not even talking about them openly and your sharing will resonate with many of them and serve as a learning experience.
That being said, i want to bring to your attention the following passage from ‘What Does It Take To Be A Master’ file: ‘Therefore, when in the training context one becomes inspired by self-interest alone, one will be precluded to see the students for what they really are. One’s mind becomes so cluttered by self-preoccupation that forgets what is there for. How do I look? Am I making a fool out of myself? Will I know what to say? Will I say the truth or just please my students? Are these people just stupid, or it is me that’s not making sense? These are just a few examples of the destructive mind patterns which are far removed from mastery.
In your case it was not self-interest as in super inflated ego, or selfishness, or egocentricity, or narcissism. But you were so busy with being afraid of NOT making a mistake and being perfect (focus on YOU) that you forgot that you were there also for the participants (focus on THEM). When you did the values elicitation you forgot about you and your focus allowed you to flow and you reached mastery. See Deb (and Brandon), it is not an either/or. It is an and/both. We are forced by our environment to think and behave at VL 7 if we are to navigate successfully these transitional times. to put it country simple, of course you always remember the purpose for which you do an networking event – otherwise why bother to go there and speak? AND at the same time, while doing it, as we taught you in TT all your attention is on the audience. Trainer state, extend your energy throughout the whole room, connect with every person, and speak from the heart all the while leading toward your purpose for being there and doing that event.
That being said, now that you have gone through this experience be very happy it happened. I am not kidding! This is an invaluable lesson and i have an inkling that you were somehow ‘magically’ – and i put magically in quotes as you can see – guided to go through it as an invaluable lesson for the future. Most people would like to avoid it like the plague. Nevertheless, it is not by experiencing only joy and happiness that we grow, it is by disturbing and problem-creating events and periods in our lives that the greatest growth is experienced no matter how much it hurts and how much we kick and scream at the moment.
Illusion or not, when you go through it …hmmm… it feels VERY real!!! As i said in the same file: ‘Many people get things mixed up: they think that the unconscious re-actions are self-initiated.[…] They are by definition re-active and not initiating.‘
Because of negative emotional state, you were both reactive and not initiating and the audience responded accordingly. Now you know how it works. 🙂
But if this is what it took for you to disconnect the negative state and get into the trainer state (which you both were not in from the beginning – AHEM!!!!), so be it!
“Everything is possible, but only IF YOU WORK AT IT.
If you do so, what you obtain will be so certain that no one will ever be able to take it from you.”
Congratulations! Keep going! Both of you!