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FACT: We all have our challenges and obstacles to overcome in our daily life.
We are (yes “we” includes NLP trained people) often tempted to look outside ourselves and blame everyone and everything under the sun for our sabotage. That makes it easy, as we have all the reasons why things are the way they are. We are off the hook….or so we think.
But in many cases, we are the biggest obstacle standing in our way.
Thankfully, there are things we can all do to cut back on self-sabotaging behavior.
Join Dr. Adriana James and Laura Petrie for a live Zoom Webinar where they will highlight some of the typical self-sabotaging behaviors and insidious patterns of thinking, so we all can effectively learn how to get out of our own way!
USA: Thursday, April 18th 3pm Pacific/ 4pm Mountain/ 5pm Central/ 6pm Eastern
AU: Friday, April 19th 8am Sydneyhttps://zoom.us/j/482427238
483 427 238 is the conference ID -
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Here is the link to join the webinar How to Get Out of Your Own Way
483 427 238 is the conference ID
This is the time to ask questions. Everyone who is interested in participating and has questions regarding projects, clients, students – this is the time to ask your questions. Use this forum and we will do our best to answer them during the webinar.
Remember, your questions are – for sure – everyone else’s questions. So by asking questions you are not only clarifying things for yourself, but also assisting everyone else in this NLP Forum community.
Looking forward to hear from you. -
Looking forward to this topic!
Questions:
1. How to get from want to want… to want? And how to know if what you want to want is really something that you’ve been programmed to think you “should” do, or if it’s really part of your personal destiny that you’re avoiding?
2. I’ve notice one major obstacle that I’ve given myself is making the NLP/TLT(R) techniques either not work for myself sometimes, or giving myself incomplete results. Perhaps fear of taking full responsibility for my life and results, and/or fear of success/failure. I created an endless stream of imaginary problems for myself to solve, creating a hamster wheel of interventions, so I could feel like I was making progress and “doing something” without actually getting anywhere. I’m breaking through that now, but would like to understand better why I was doing that and why others do the same.
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Hello!Thank you for this opportunity!
My question is: Do you have any magic recipe for “more patience”, in order to accomplish your goals?
It is very challenging and rewarding, but it isn’t simple to be “one businesswoman”.
After one year (abt) of NLP journey, I succeed to have a few seminars and one Prac. I have to split in: my passion=my business, being mother, wife and current job. I know that I learn and I’m getting better and better every day, by transforming myself and others around me!!And to chunk down: I think that I have to recap all the projects and to do them annually ( like I did with my daughters, a recapitulation, at the beginning of each school year).
Thank you!
Mihaela -
Unfortunately i cannot make that time. Look forward to the transcript.
Question:
Similar to Adams question….
How do you choose a direction to take? And when to realise it is or isn’t realistic. I have gone down a few paths (breakthrough coaching, seminars, trainings) and gone full circle and am back to where I started, focussing on my other business and using my NLP training as an adjunct to assist it now rather than as an entity of its own. Only problem is it is not as profitable. I can’t seem to find “my thing” that perhaps combines both as well as making good $. I loved doing scyf type seminars, but found them hit and miss with numbers.How do you deal with a client that is really dissociated, disconnected and finds tlt really difficult to do? (not following instructions)
many thanx
annie -
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WEBINAR VIDEO and ADD-ON THOUGHTS
(to see the webinar recording, scroll down)For this time there is no transcript available. Laura and I had mostly a free and fun discussion with new perspectives of looking at the conduct and mind games we adopt when we stand in our own way, and the strategies and the specific steps we use to create our own barriers. This webinar was mostly based on the feedback and questions we received from you.
Here is also an add-on to everything we discussed during the webinar, especially to the VALL model shared with me by this neuroscientist and bio-chemist friend of mine, who happens to also understand NLP for a long time.
As an aside, I suggest that you really think of what this VALL model really means and how it plays in your own life. Because this is how you construct the blockages you experience and self-sabotage yourself – this is HOW you do it!During the webinar I chose my words very carefully while explaining the VALL model to you, and although you will encounter new language, new labels and and new terms to describe the model, if you really pay attention you will discover that it describes relationships between the UM and the CM, the Meta Model, the Deep Structure VS the Surface Structure and also the specific process by which we create our MOW whether it leads to positive or negative anticipation.
Whether you are aware of it or not, the whole earth and with it the whole humanity is going through a process of massive shift and change to a magnitude never encountered since the creation of homo sapiens-sapiens (that’s us folks). If you’re not aware of this change, don’t worry. If you are, the next paragraphs are for you.
The energy of change is all upon us and around us. It messes up with our structure of how we do what we do, what we want, our comfort and inner peace, it destroys our old structures we have built in our lives and makes us construct something else instead, it stirs deep unconscious desires and wants, it brings to the surface of consciousness deeply unconscious patterns, it takes us by surprise, and affects our health, relationships, families, friends, jobs… in other words, everything!
This transitional time has the potential of making us wake up from those areas where we remain emotionally or intellectually attached to our old and cherished belief set about “how it is” or “how it should be”, especially where we cling to unconscious behaviors and automatic (read instinctive thus unconscious) knee jerk emotional responses.
On the other hand, it can also create the conditions for us to fall even deeper asleep into the ocean of sweet unconsciousness.
What’s the difference?
It is called choice! It is called making a decision and living it in full consciousness of the consequences of making that decision. It is called willingness to fall, fail and start again once you learned another way of not doing “it”.
It is called learning how to fall before you learn how to ski down the mountain. In fact, before you can ski down a slope and make it down safely, and having fun with it, AND having a positive and enjoyable experience, you must learn learn how to fall. It is not only necessary, but part of the process that leads to success and positive results.
As you learn how to ski, you fall on your behind, fall flat face down, fall on your side, miss the edge when turning, fall on your back like a big bug turned upside down aslidung down the hill… and only after you learned how to fall safely, you can say that you can make a full run all the way down the slope. You laugh, you cry, you get all irritated and annoyed…but if you want to learn how to ski, you learn how to fall.Without falling, you can only say that it was a matter of luck if you make it all the way down and the experience won’t be in any way as empowering as when you mastered the art of falling and failing.
So, count your blessings when you fall and fail. Most people cringe and crawl back into their shell because they’re afraid of failing and falling. Instead, you should be the other way around. That makes exceptional people exceptional.This “different” attitude could be called willingness to step out of fear and need for control while being totally in control over our own life. It could be called giving up justification and negative anticipation no matter how justified we feel to argue our point. It is called having guts to proceed no matter what, to continue toward our dreams and goals – and be willing to admit what we really want, truthfully, even if it flies in the face of what we “should” want according to well meaning others in our lives.
Every time we chose something we also chose the consequences for making that decision. When you decided to embrace the trainer and leader position in this career, you have already chosen your own obstacles and the consequences of making that choice. You may think it was a flimsy decision….think again! Yes, there are a lot of nitty-gritty details you need to put up with. People not responding to you, people giving you lip service, people ignoring your conversations and efforts to enroll them in your trainings, etc, etc…. But here is a question for you. Is it really “them“?
Watch the webinar and pay attention to the VALL model – you’ll find the answers right there.
But back to the energy of change and the transitional times in which we live.
Just because one refuses to change it does not mean that one does not need that energy.Read that again and think of what it means!
Just because you refuse to change it does not mean that you don’t need that energy.The change is upon us and all around us. This change force may encounter people who refuse to accept or even understand the change (see the last 2 Ls from the VALL model) because it is too hard, because they fall and fail several times in their attempts to implement change, because it is stepping into the unknown and so on and so forth. The reasons for which they justify their position are as varied as people on earth. In fact for all of us there may be moments where we refuse the change even if deep down it is nothing less we desire. At some point or another we have experienced the “justification” and even the stubbornness of why we’re giving up on some of our goals, dreams and desires. Nevertheless, this new energy requires that we are brutally honest and admit to ourselves what is really not working for us, and what we really want to be, have and do regardless of what we think we should be according to “the others” in our lives. It requires us to go for what we want no matter how hard it seems to be – as this being truthful to ourselves. Sure we can justify why we can’t, why it is hard, why it is possible for others but not for us and the like. But in that moment, if we’re truthful we need to ask ourselves if we have really done WHATEVER IT TAKES or are we just trying to fool ourselves into justification.
I admit, this whole process is not for the lighthearted people and an easy task as it is much easier said than done. This energy requires courage, guts, truth and honesty – firstly toward ourselves and then toward the other people in our lives.
JUST BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO CHANGE, IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU DON’T NEED THE ENERGY OF CHANGE UPON AND AROUND YOU, INFLUENCING YOU AND PROMPTING YOU TO ARRANGE YOUR LIFE ANEW.
And let’s be honest – we all need from time to time a solid kick in the you-know-what to get us moving out of our comfortable sleep of unconsciousness.
The good news is that you already are at an advantage because you have so many exquisite techniques under your belt which – if you chose – you could use to tweak your thinking, change your beliefs, decisions and values.
In this school, we’re the experts of the pathway to get better at getting better a lot faster. That is – if we chose that path.
After more than 20 years in this field, having seen people coming to us from different schools of NLP, and already trained at different levels, I understood something essential which I hope that you all will get one day.
Once you use a vacuum cleaner you’ll never use a broom again.
Have fun with the webinar and let me know your questions or comments below.
Oh! One more thought:
We all have our insecurities and fears. Usually of rejection.
Therefore all that counts ultimately is what you do with your life now. Do it with love for yourself and for others, because love is one of those things that surely isn’t experienced enough in the world today. Love matters. -
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