Reply to Jimmy’s question
Hi Jimmy,
Good to see you here.
Mismatching is not necessarily bad. Is simply the need to contradict (mismatch) the information coming in, in comparison with already acquired information and life experience. It could also come form values formed in response to a very authoritative and inflexible parent. It just takes longer to accept new learning or concepts.
Here are some important things about matching VS mismatching I can think of right now.
Mismatching for the sake of mismatching is like a teenager who says NO all the time just to prove everyone wrong. That does not work so well. IT acts like a rebellion against authority. But not all authority is correct or acts for your benefit. So accepting authority just because it is authority does not work well also.
Therefore….
You mentioned something really important which is the issue of awareness and bringing into consciousness when one mismatches and when one matches and WHY.
To my opinion you don’t have to be a matcher all the time. In fact that would make you into an average, accepting-only-the-norm person. Very agreeable but not innovative. Not creative. Just an average Joe.
Staring as a mismatcher myself I play now with accepting or rejecting new info after careful consideration. The words “after careful consideration” are very important. Even if initially I might be prone to say “no”, I always consider carefully what has been said. I look for data and facts I know, or I research to understand better the info I received and to see whether it has merit or not.
Then I make up my mind. You always have to eventually make up your mind and proceed. Otherwise you get stuck in incision and brats reaaaaaly not good. It leads to stagnation and inertia.
Does that mean you’re always “right”?
Well…. Define “right”.
Even if, let’s say you’re not “right” in your ultimate decision you have the right (pun intended) to change your mind and adapt to new info which may come later. So with the knowledge in the moment, ask questions to get as much clarity as you can, then decide whether to accept or reject the info, and proceeded. This process can take as little as a few seconds, to 24/48 hours or even longer in certain cases.
In business, here is what I think. Based on what I said above, and your experience already acquired, mismatching is sometimes beneficial. Trends and patterns that everybody follows are not necessarily the best and most results producing. The best business people are innovators who don’t follow trends (thus in a way mismatching society).
For us at TJC this is a way of life. We are so different from your average NLP company is not even funny, and this has created in time problems with marketing companies who want to slot us into the “trends”. And we cannot just follow the trends.
At the same time, this makes us so different, and so exceptional in our teaching. So… There you have it! Benefits and at the same time problems created by non-conformity.
I hope this has given you something to “munch on”.
I am looking forward to other input from other trainers and forum participants out there.
Let us know folks, what do you think? How does it work for you?